So, how many kids DO you have?

I mean, it isn't like I've ever been asked that question. So, I had other plans for today's blog post but I couldn't resist this "chart" from http://www.nickmom.com. I thought the idea of a Nickmom was silly (for lack of a more appropriate word). But the first week it was on, as usual, Nick Jr had been left on. Hubby was out of town so not there to rush to change the channel. 10pm rolls around and the background of the TV makes me bust out laughing. I spent the next hour laughing at Nickmom. I didn't agree with everything, everyone said. i don't have to agree for it to still be funny. I wasn't sure that all "mom" humor could be maintained long term. Then I considered that I'm still being surprised by the kids, after 16 years. Maybe it can continue. If it doesn't get repetitive on topic then I think it will be a success.

Though there are some opponents. I can't count myself among them because I don't think my kids should be up watching TV at 10pm. But ask me again the next time I'm sitting up at 2am trying to distract a toddler who's cranky and too congested to sleep.

Anyway, back to the graph. Totally cute but I question if it was a collaboration. I mean, did a mom of each of these categories write it together? I say that because I've been in many of these categories. I think 1 child is pretty harsh, they couldn't have done something "cutesy" like "Congratulations, your in the "club"". Or they could have gone with the question most parents of only children get, "when are you going to have another?". Because, obviously, kids are potato chips and you can't have just one. I think the "2 boys" or "2 girls" should read "2 or 3" because, at least in my area, it's still acceptable to "try for a boy" if you have 3 girls. By "acceptable" I mean you don't fall into the "freak" category yet. 6 should really be 5. I mean, there are minivans that seat 8 but have you actually tried to seat 8 in them. They can only really fit 4 or 5 carseats and no one over 5' tall. So all 6 kids would have to be under 12, but not all in carseats. If we're moving 6 to 5, that clears 6 for "is it a blended family?". I think you need to be at least "Just the 10 of us" size to get a TV show. So let's bump 7 up to 8. That leaves 7 clear for "what religion are you?". In other words (because I've been asked it both ways), are you Catholic or Mormon?.

What part of the chart do you fall in? How right do you think it is? Or did they leave you off completely?

And the winner is...

The winner of the doll pouch and matching bag from Sew Attached is ...
True Random Number GeneratorMin:Max:Result:2

Julia Mangan, check your facebook messages

The winner of the gameday cake pops from Sweets by Sarah is....
True Random Number GeneratorMin:Max:Result:6

Stacy Szehner, I will get your information to Sarah

The winner of the shirt or onesie from Cee.Jay.Elle is ....
True Random Number GeneratorMin:Max:Result:2

Leslie, I will get your information to Ami.

Thanks so much for playing.  Congratulations to all the winners.  Though I will be down to only occasional wearing next year, I will still do a Babywearing Week series.

Last minute surprises

Last night we got another giveaway added. Cee.jay.elle has graciously offered a baby/toddler size t shirt or onesie that will have the design

You know the drill, like Cee.jay.elle on Facebook and up to 3 extra entries by sharing this post at the places you frequent. Don't forget to comment below to let us know what you've done. Last chance to enter Tuesday's, yesterday's and today's giveaways until 8pm tonight. Drawing with random.org will be tonight just after 8 pm (or whenever I can get all my kids in bed).

A sweet end

Tomorrow is the last day of International Babywearing Week. Since babywearing has such a sweet spot in my heart we wanted to do a sweet pre celebration. Sweets by Sarah has kindly agreed to help with that. She is donating a set of "gameday" cake pops in your favorite team to the winner. The "celebration" will be tomorrow when we announce the winners of this and Tuesday's giveaway. You still have time to enter Tuesday's if you haven't. The same routine for entering today's. All you have to do is "like" the sponsor on Facebook, Sweets by Sarah then comment below that you have. You can earn up to 3 extra entries by sharing this post on your Facebook, Twitter, Google +, message board, blog, or group then share the link below.

International Babywearing Week=giveaways (yes, plural)

As y'all know, babywearing holds a soft spot in my heart.  That's why I kicked off my return by kicking off Babywearing Week.  Well, today I said, why not kick it off with a bang.  I'm a little too accident prone to actually use anything that goes "bang" so instead we'll do the next best thing, giveaways.  And yes, I did mean to make that plural.  We will do them all week, with the finale being the drawing by random.org.

We will start off with one from Sew Attached, in other words, me.  Yep, in case you hadn't heard, I opened up a Facebook store in my abundant spare time (you know, with #5 going off to 4K and all).  This giveaway is for a knit doll pouch with matching cross body bag for your toddler.  It is in a nice unisex "sky" color and will fit up to about age 5.  The bag will fit a cute little board book (or in our case, the Kindle Fire) and will fit even longer than that.

The above picture are the actual items being given away, I couldn't take action shots because my children were in the middle of making messes so couldn't come anywhere near them.  Below is an action shot in another color.  If you prefer the one below, that color is discontinued, but you can bid to win that set in the upcoming weeks at TBW Benefit Auction.

 



So how do you win?  First, like the donor, Sew Attached on Facebook.  Then comment below.  That's it, no need to follow the blog (though you'll probably want to so you don't miss the rest of this weeks giveaways).  You can get extra entries by sharing this post on Facebook, Twitter, your blog, a message board or group (where it isn't against the rules, don't go breaking rules and blaming it on me), etc and commenting with the link.  You get one extra entry for each place you share but there is a limit of 3 extra entries to make it fair for everyone.

Good Luck, and check back all week for more Babywearing Week posts and giveaways as well as Sunday to see who won.

Welcome back

It has been 6 months since I posted. I know everyone has been waiting. I know I failed miserably at my goal to post a whole year. For weeks I've been meaning to get back at it. Every week I read my Aunt's blog posts and am reminded I need to post. Every week I get too busy, or put it off for a "special day".

As we welcome another year of International Babywearing Week I've had several things happen that just seemed to come together for a good blog post on Babywearing. Therefore I decided the first day of IBW would, not only welcome IBW, but would welcome me back to Blogger.

Last year I posted about what Babywearing was, what it meant to me, and my history. This year I want to talk about how uniting and universal it is.

As you see me on any given weekday it is pretty obvious I am a stay at home mom, from my (very) casual dress to the kid (or more) in tow. That's probably where the obvious ends (unless you see my van). I have 1 or 2 kids with me, neither are still nursing age. And I am a pretty average mom age (well unless I don't dye all my grays). Would you be able to guess I was once a young mom? Would you be able to guess my religion? Could you tell my socioeconomic class? That I have 6 kids? That I have a child with special needs? My hobbies? My political affiliation? I bet you can't.

Even when I have 6 kids in tow you really don't know anything your assuming. Your first guess? Hmm, maybe that I'm on welfare (not sure if that would be because of my kids or my dress), would be wrong. I'm not and I never have been. But does that really matter? In this economy especially, people with 2 kids have just as great a chance to need help. 2nd guess, more than one father, again wrong. Again, does it matter? If the children are being taken care of, what does it matter? Lastly you start assuming religion or hippiness or whatever else would possess a seemingly same person to have 6 kids. Society's value given to children has really influenced the way people view them in all aspects.

I've posted about the mommy wars before. Stay at home vs working, breast vs bottle, etc. But can you tell those things by the cover of every "book"? The great thing about Babywearing is it blends right in there. Everyone is doing it. The reasoning behind everyone's choice to babywear is so different. That makes the people who do it cover such a vast array. Working moms do it, some even at work. Stay at home moms do it, even when they aren't home. Breast and bottle feeding. Those in Europe and those in the Americas. The ones that don't wonder how they can. The ones past that age wish they had.

Everyone mom, dad, grandparent and caregiver can use an extra hand. Even when you don't need an extra hand it's well worth the strain it saves on your back.

I walked through the corn maze this weekend and saw a mom of only 2 wearing her baby. I alternately wore my 2 and 4 year olds. I didn't bring a stroller. I had thought of a stroller but thought the inconvenience would outweigh the handiness. I saw people parking and leaving their strollers. I saw someone with the same nice one I would have brought, struggling through the sand, no stroller does sand well. I saw another mom that really would have loved a carrier. I can't imagine what her arms and back felt like when I saw her still carrying her baby (no stroller in sight) over an hour later.

I see the same thing in the mall or the store. A mom trying to juggle baby and a stroller or cart. A mom trying to calm baby without carrying them, so as to avoid the juggle. It happens to moms of 1 or moms of 10. It doesn't matter if you have a $15 stroller or a $400 stroller (trust me, I have both), its still not fun to push and carry (if you don't have a sling).

Babywearing isn't new, every single country has its own history of Babywearing. If your lucky enough to live in a country where it's still passed down, you already know. Other lucky people have a friend or Lamaze teacher (who first told us) share it. Some find the info in a book. Some frazzled moms stop a mom in the store who is more than willing to rave about her "3rd hand".

Once you have it, you have something in common with people of all walks of life, people from all over the world. The mom of 6 can compare to the mom of 2. The mom with the $200 wrap can commiserate with the mom with the sheet out of the linen closet. A baby in Africa is worn the same as a baby in Asia or America. When it comes to Babywearing there is no question, it is the best solution for moms convenience and baby's security. In that one little thing, there is no war.

The Autism Confusion

The day the new Autism statistics were announced to be 1 in 88 children, I started this post.  It was right as we were coming into Autism Awareness month, another day that I'd start a post.  I was still working on this one.  Here I sit today, still working on this one.  As the statistics came out quietly, they still shot through the internet.  They lit up Facebook pages, message boards, and conversations the world over.  The conversation always seemed to turn to the opinion of those actually dealing with Autism. 

The questions started pouring in, "so what do you think about the new statistics?", "what do you think caused the increase?", "how realistic do you think they are?"  I'd love to have all the answers.  I'd love for anyone to have all the answers.  I'd love to say that it is vaccines.  But I worry how my friends with Autistic kids who've never had a single vaccine would react.  I'd love to say it's the hormones and antibiotics in dairy and meat.  But I wonder how my vegan friends with an Autistic kid would react.  If I said it was a reactive attachment issue, I may insult all the attachment parents of Autistic kids.

The next best thing to say, would be what the government is trying to say.  It's just a response to better diagnosis.  You look at the study information and the sample group used is 8 years old.  That means anyone not diagnosed yet wasn't counted.  Do you know how many kids are not diagnosed until 9, 10, 13, 15...?  I'd love to know more about the cities used, not what they tell us but what the parents in those cities are actually saying.  Is it easy to be diagnosed in that city?  We are rural suburban, but we are only 30 minutes from the state capital.  I'd describe our area as average.  I say that because there are definitely rural areas that have it much worse.  Just as I am sure those living near a much larger university medical center have it better.  Using our city as an example, it can take years to get an Autism diagnosis.  If you are lucky, or you are more moderate, or you are a boy you may get a diagnosis sooner when someone, in the know, spots the signs.  Even in a perfect world you could be put on a year + long waiting list to go to one of very few places that diagnose Autism here.  A place that doesn't take insurance so it is even harder for the middle class.  They take Medicaid so if you have that you're good.  If you're upper middle class, you have the cash or flex to pay.  If you don't fall into either of those categories you have to come up with the $400+ per visit (and it could take 4+ visits) cash, on the spot, to pay for your diagnosis.  If you happen to have a doctor that is willing to refer you, and knows where to refer you, you may be able to get into the Disabilities and Special Needs, Autism division for free (and a much longer wait).  If you aren't in a perfect world, and you don't have a textbook case of Autism, you may be bounced around early intervention, school districts, special education, psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists, etc as you possibly place hope on misdiagnosis, just looking for an answer.  With diagnosis occurring like this, and the number of people I know of, with children over age 8, still waiting for a diagnosis, I find "better diagnosis" to only mean that the rates are going to continue to rise then.  Because we are far from good at diagnosing Autism.

Do I think those numbers are padded?  Sure, I think that some kids are being diagnosed by people not qualified to make that diagnosis.  Sure, I think kids are being diagnosed with Autism to receive better services.  Do I think that is the majority?  No way.  Even the small amount of children that fall into this category, I am sure are countered by the number of children still waiting for diagnosis.

I have written and rewritten because the only thing this post does is create confusion.  I have no actual answers in this post.  I have tried to clean it up, I have tried to say something knowledgeable, but all that's there is confusion.  I realised that is all anyone has.  Confusion.  I tried writing about the "cures", the other controversies.  Gluten free diets, organic, chelation, supplements vs Applied Behavior, therapies, special education.  But I have no answer for that either, because I don't know any kids who have been "cured" from true Autism.  I've seen significant improvement on both sides but Autism is still there.  Adding that debate only added more.  Confusion.  The debate between research funding and treatment funding.  If you think that the only sides are Autistic parents and Neurotypical parents, it is far from the truth.  There are those for a "cure" and those against a "cure".  There are those that feel strongly about 1 way of treating vs another.  There are those with strong feelings about a cause.  But it all leads the same way, there is still no "cure".  All that's left is more.  Confusion.  We all want an answer, we all know there is no point in dwelling on the past.  Yet we all search every aspect of every day of our child's life looking for where this came from.  You think if you knew the answer you could fix it.  Every single Autistic child is different.  What you worry about, a different child never had, what they worry about yours never had.  Confusion.  This is the face of Autism.