Thursday, December 19, 2013

An Elf broke into my house

Ok, it's not that I have anything against the Elf on the Shelf.  It's a cute idea and all.  Kudos to the parents that can do it.  I just prefer spending my Christmas time relaxing, reading books on Jesus birth, lighting Advent candles, and doing things as a family (Christmas lights anyone?).   

The elf, on the other hand I don't think is for us.  I knew right away the elf wasn't for us.  I mean, the tooth fairy already tends to have a backlog and thus arrives a couple days late, after "borrowing" cash from wherever he can find it (with the invention of plastic I guess he's forgotten to carry cash).  

I really don't have anything against those parents who chose to do it.  To each their own, unless it effects me, who am I to care what goes on in your house.  That is until their elves start breaking into my house.

This is about how December has gone in our house.  Also known as, how an elf broke into our house.

Day 1 (what day is that anyway, December 1), child 4: C's elf baked him cookies.
Me:  wow

Day 2, child 3: K's elf made a mess, she told me about it.  It was funny.
Me:  wow

Day 3, child 5: the elf at school was in our classroom
Me: wow

Oh and then the fun begins.

Day 4, child 4: all my friends have elves.
Me: wow

Day 5, child 3: how come everyone else has an elf?
Me: I don't know

Day 6: how come everyone but us has an elf?
Me: um, maybe you behave well enough that you don't need an elf to spy on you (hoping they don't see through this very obvious lie).

Day 7: then how come there's elves at school?
Me: um, to keep an eye on the other kids that need it

Day 8: L wrote a letter to his elf saying that Mrs. H didn't have an elf.  He brought a friend from the North Pole for her. 
Me: wow 

Our elf free future is not looking good.

Day 9: I said she'd write a letter to her elf and see if he can bring a friend for us.
Me: wow

Biting my nails

Day 12: Ks elf still hasn't brought a friend.
Me: hmmm

Crap, what am I supposed to do, tell her Ks elf is fake.  Oh, all the parents will love me.

Day 13: do you think Auntie can write a letter to her elf too?
Me: we'll see

Words I won't type start to creep into my head

Day 15:  did you make sure to tell auntie to write her elf a letter?
Me: um, I'll text her 

which I don't, because we all know, at this point it's my problem and I'm starting to think I'm screwed.

Day 16: did auntie write her elf a letter?
Me: um, I'll ask her

Day 18: did you ask her?
Me: yes, yes she did 

Great, now I have to say her cousins elf is fake too?

Day 19: 

This is a good elf though, he will just sit on the shelf.

Monday, December 16, 2013

Before I actually had a son: shopping edition

On this weeks Mondays Musings I was thinking about shopping for my son vs my daughters.  I just finished buying the kids' Christmas outfits. Before I actually had a son (I had 3 daughters) I said, "Wow, girls sure break the bank.  There are so many cute outfits, bows and shoes to buy".  Ha ha ha.  Here is the scenario post boy.

Shopping for a coming home outfit-
For a girl: this one is so cute, oh but this one is cute too.  Hmm, do I want to go with an outfit or a dress.
For a boy: Why does everything for boys have cars, trucks, trains or balls on it.  Even dress clothes.  Why can't there just be something plain and cute?

Shopping for baby clothes-
For a girl: there's so much cute stuff on clearance 
For a boy:  it all looks the same but at least there's a bunch on clearance

Shopping for a baptism outfit-
For a girl: do I want eyelet, lace, beaded, smocked, classic
For a boy: Do they all really have to have a vest or now tie? Ugh

Shopping for an outfit to go to a wedding-
For a girl: look at all these cute dresses on the clearance rack after Easter.  I guess they were too dressy for Easter but are perfect for the wedding.  On clearance for $13?  That's awesome.
For a boy: I can't believe the entire mall had nothing.  I finally found something at Strasburg for $60.

Leisurely shopping at the mall:
For a girl: wow, look at these cute dresses on clearance for $3.  Oh and there's a sweater on sale for $7.  These shoes are half price.
For a boy: OMG, they have a cute dress shirt, I know he doesn't need one but when he does they won't have one so I better get it now.  Oh but it's regular price at $30.  I better go against every cell in my body and pay full price because I know I won't ever find it again.

Shopping for Christmas outfits-
For a girl: look at these cute dresses on clearance for $15, they even come with matching doll dresses and they have all the girl's sizes.
For a boy: I've gone to every store and still can't find squat, I guess I'll settle on this sweater that isn't ugly but costs twice what the girls outfits cost.

Shopping for necessity- 
For a girl: Oh look, you outgrew those pants.  We'll pack those away and you can wear these bigger ones I found on clearance a couple months ago.
For a boy: Did you seriously rip a hole in your jeans again?  That's the 3rd pair this week, I guess I'll go and try and find you pants at the mall tomorrow (knowing they won't have a single sale, sigh).

Shopping appreciation-
For a girl: " I found a cute dress on clearance for you today."  "Mommy thank you, it's so cute, can I wear it to school tomorrow?"
For a boy: "I got you a new shirt at the mall today."  "Mom, that shirt is babyish.  Besides, my green shirt is comfy and my favorite (and stained and way too small)."

Now I eat my words.  I know that boys cost just as much, you just get 1/3 of the stuff for that price.