Tuesday, June 18, 2013

How to pack for 6 kids

First dig out 6 suitcases because, even if you'll only be gone for a weekend, no one will share and everyone has to have "theirs".

Instruct bigger kids on what to pack.  Find the bag your preschoolers packed every last article of their clothing in yesterday.  Tell the middle kids to wait their turn.  Pack the smaller kids bags.  Answer bigger kids questions because they apparently didn't listen to the instructions.  Remove all the extra stuff the smaller kids added.  Start helping the middle kids pack.  Ask the, now supposedly finished, big kids if they packed pajamas.  Send them back to pack some more.  Repack the smaller kids.  Teach the middle kids to pack themselves.  Chase the smaller kids away from the suitcases.  Negotiate suitcase size with the bigger kids.  Finish the middle kids.  Chase the smaller kid running away from you with their suitcase.  Negotiate appropriate number of stuffed animals with the girls.  Clean out the van that you cleaned out yesterday.  Put 4 suitcases in the van.  Find the smaller kids playing hide and seek with their suitcases.  Feel accomplished that all 7 suitcases fit in the van.  Remember your husband hasn't even packed yet.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

What exactly do childless people do all day?

Ok, so I read this blog that rants about the childless people thinking those with children have lost their life.  http://www.renegademothering.com/2013/06/11/public-service-announcement-to-the-childless-people-wondering-why-were-such-losers/
And it portrays quite the picture.  I'm sure it's mostly true even.  Including the picture at the end that shows why we wouldn't trade it for the world.  Usually I wouldn't write about 1 person's opinion. But I've read it on associated press sites.  I've seen it on CNN.  Yes, I really do still read and watch the news.  More and more people, not just in the US, are opting for one or no kids. 

Those childish people are ranting about everything from kids in restaurants to strollers on city sidewalks.  They don't think about how loud they are conversing in a restaurant.  Do you think we enjoy going to dinner and having to listen to you?  I mean we have kids, and you've said it yourself, we don't get to go out as much.  We take the kids to a family restaurant (so as not to disturb you and yours), yet you chose a family restaurant too (expecting there not to be any families?).  While enjoying our one family dinner out per month we then have to endure, your not only loud, but colorful conversation that my kids can completely hear.  Instead of enjoying dinner we're trying to distract our kids so as not to have to endure a week of them repeating or asking about things they heard.  I'm so sorry my daughter's excitement over ketchup is disturbing you, you seem to be the only one because the neighboring family is just jealous mine isn't throwing food and the older couple have already said "how adorable".  But maybe I should go home, and like you, rant about the loud and obnoxious group of childless couples I had to endure through my dinner.

Maybe you aren't thinking about the fact that these kids will grow up to be the ones that keep this country running, since you didn't have any.  I mean, unless you plan to pick your own food in your 80s.  Maintain all the water, sewer, and electrical systems.  Oh and that precious cell phone tower to power that new smart phone your bragging to the whole restaurant about.  Or make your own Viagra.

There are a lot of childless people who can't go out either.  These are the people too busy spending their life savings on Clomid, or international adoption.  These are the people too busy perfecting their house before their home study.  When they go out to eat, they just long for a baby to have to take outside and walk around.  I'm guessing if people "long" for these "babies" there must be something good about them.

Yep, we don't have the newest smartphones or designer clothes anymore.  We can't afford to go out every weekend night and spend half the next morning recovering.  

So, what do we do on weekends then.  We go to a soccer game and get to watch a 3 year old score a goal.  She's so proud of herself that her smile lights up the fields.  She runs over to give you a high five because you not only taught her how to make that goal but you taught her how to high five.  You brag to the teammates parents that it's your kid that made that goal, that you can't believe at only 3 she was able to remember that move.  A few minutes later her kid makes a goal and does a cute little dance move in excitement and it's your turn to listen to a brag.

Afterwards you go out to celebrate by getting shaved ice.  Yes, you'll have to clean up the mess but the purple nose is amusing enough to be worth it.  You go home and start raking the yard.  A kid steals your rake and takes over.  Another one pitches in and soon there's a pile.  They start jumping in it as you sit down on the deck to watch and reminisce about doing that in your own childhood.  Soon you have leaves being dumped on your head and your involved in a full fledged leaf fight.  

Now you need a shower so plop the kids in front of the TV with a movie and sandwiches.  After your shower you sit down.  Within 2 minutes you're bored of just sitting so you start playing a game on your old smartphone.  Within 5 minutes you're bored of that.  Your spouse sits down with you and you discuss what childless people can possibly do all weekend.  Games get boring quickly.  The same old clubs with the same old people doing the same old stupid stuff every weekend has got to get old.  They get to watch the bouncer throw people out around 2am.  I get to be a bouncer when that precious smile takes down her brother.  Isn't the newest video game just like the last one, when you beat it you'll have nothing to do with it until you spend another $50 when the new one comes out?

Yes, I do go to the same soccer game every weekend of soccer season.  But that kid grows and learns every week.  Every week the trick is different, they're better at it and they're prouder.  The whole teams get better so each week the game is more competitive and more exciting.  

Soccer season is only 8 weeks.  After that there's flag football, baseball, swimming, dance, tennis.  Sometimes there's nothing and you get to be a kid.  You go to the park, the amusement park, the water park, and the beach.  In the winter you're suckered back into roller skates and realize you seem a lot higher up than when you were a kid.  You go bowling and get your but kicked by an 8 year old.

At the end of each day you read all your favorite childhood books.  You try to wrap your tongue around Dr. Suess.  You give bubble baths, wearing a bubble bath beard and taking pictures of their bubble bath hats.  Finishing, you get slobbery toddler kisses and sweet big girl bear hugs.  Those are things I can't even describe to you.  You have to experience them from tiny hands, soft lips and big, innocent, blue eyes before you can even begin to imagine what that's like.