Tuesday, June 14, 2011

The Mommy Wars

There seem to be "wars" over everything these days.  People don't have lively debates anymore, people fight.  People don't agree to disagree anymore, people take things personally.  If you do something different than I do, you must be saying my way is wrong.  It used to be car wars, Chevy or Ford.  Then there were technology wars, Mac lovers do not cross over.  There is android vs iphone, there is Nook vs Kindle. 

We have the parents vs the non parents now.  Instead of helping out a parent with a stroller, they push to ban strollers from buses, or only allow narrow ones on sidewalks.  Not only are people having babies later in life but they don't want the babies in the same restaurant as them, it might remind them their biological clock is ticking.  There are also those couples who chose not to have any kids, ever.  Some of them would be perfectly content if kids weren't allowed to leave the house until their 18th birthdays.  They have perfected the "glare".

I know the mommies are out there shaking their heads in agreement, Amen sister.  Oh, so quick you think you are off the hook.  I would love to see a show of hands on the number of mommies out there who own a stroller.  Now how many of you have considered it's use as a battering ram through a crowd?  I bet more than a few mommies (or daddies) out there have used it as such, if you haven't, admit it, you've thought about it.  I am sure that supports the opposing sides argument.  What about the mommies out there who think that just because they were in line first that their stroller should be able to get the handicap spot on the train, bus, tram, etc?  I know none of my readers would do that, but I have seen it happen, more than once.  Or the parents who think they have every right to go out to a nice dinner, just like everyone else.  Who cares if their kid is throwing food at the neighboring table.  Admit it, there are parents out there ruining it for the rest of us.

It isn't bad enough that we have parents vs non parents.  Now we have the mommy vs mommy wars.  It is us against "those" parents that ruin it for the rest of us.  There is stay at home vs working moms.  Breastfeeding vs Bottlefeeding moms.  Cosleeping vs "cry it out".  Babywearers vs travel system pushers. 

Is it really that we are feuding or is it all in how someone takes what is said.  When a breastfeeder is asked "so how much is she drinking" and responds "she's nursing" does the bottlefeeder really have to assume the breastfeeder meant "I can't believe your not doing what's 'best for baby' ".  When a stay at home mom finds out another mom works should she assume that the working mom just doesn't want to raise her kid?  Or vice versa, should the working mom assume the stay at home mom has no marketable skills?  When a mom finds out another attachment parents should she assume that mom is implying she's a failure?  You do know what happens when one "ass u mes", don't you?

Truthfully, most moms are just trying to get through the day.  If you are a mom of 1 or a mom of 10 you still have to make it through the day.  A stay at home mom has to cart her kids on every errand and never gets a sick day.  A working mom has to squeeze time with the kids, time with hubby and time to do household chores, all between getting off of work and bedtime.  All moms struggle every minute with what is right for their family.  If you have time to worry about what other people are doing then you aren't thinking enough about what you are doing. 

1 comment:

  1. I agree whole heartedly with it all! I've even been guilty on some counts myself - I think we all have. I am trying harder to seek to understand other's before jumping to conclusions. I've also noticed that in seeking to understand some of my questions of interest are even met with hostility; like I've just attacked them on a personal level. An understanding that we are all different and have different beliefs and opinions would go along way in the hatred I see all around me every day. Not everything is worth blowing a cork over thats for sure.