I swore I wouldn't blog about spanking, I just don't like opening that can of worms. I'm "that" mom enough that I don't need to start dabbling in spanking, abortion, politics, or circumcision. This song is popular on the radio though so I hear it daily. When I hear this song I think of spanking children. So I will put on my fire retardant suit, prepare for the flames, and post a spark. It takes too long to get my suit on though so don't expect me to do this regularly.
Here's the song I mean.
Here's the song I mean.
Taylor Swift Mean lyrics from Taylor's highly anticipated 2010 album "Speak Now".
"Mean" by Taylor Swift You, with your words like knives
And swords and weapons that you use against me,
You, have knocked me off my feet again,
Got me feeling like I’m nothing.
You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard
Calling me out when I’m wounded.
You, pickin’ on the weaker man.
Well you can take me down,
With just one single blow.
But you don’t know, what you don’t know,
Someday, I’ll be living in a big old city,
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean.
Someday, I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me,
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so mean?
You, with your switching sides,
And your walk by lies and your humiliation
You, have pointed out my flaws again,
As if I don’t already see them.
I walk with my head down,
Trying to block you out cause I’ll never impress you
I just wanna feel okay again.
I bet you got pushed around,
Somebody made you cold,
But the cycle ends right now,
You can’t lead me down that road,
You don’t know, what you don’t know
Someday, I’ll be, living in a big old city,
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean.
Someday, I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me,
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so mean?
And I can see you years from now in a bar,
Talking over a football game,
With that same big loud opinion but,
Nobody’s listening,
Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things,
Drunk and grumbling on about how I can’t sing.
But all you are is mean,
All you are is mean.
And a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life,
And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean
But someday, I’ll be, living in a big old city,
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean. Yeah,
Someday, I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me,
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so ?
Someday, I’ll be, living in a big old city,
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean. Yeah,
Someday, I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me,
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so mean?
I am sure that many children who are spanked properly, not in anger, feel love from their parents. They do not view their parents as "mean" or hold a grudge from it. Many more view it as mean and vow to end the cycle, just like is said in this song. For some it holds a lifelong memory as this woman has written about, How Spanking Changed My Life. Here we are preaching to our children that it is never OK to hit and then we turn around and hit. You can call it spanking or discipline but a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. Or in this case a thorn by any other name will hurt as much.
Maybe you feel the benefits of this style of discipline outweigh the consequences. That is a decision each family has to make. I cannot hit my children because I was raised never to hit, period. It was the one rule that never changed, non negotiable, zero tolerance. I cannot, to this day, ever hit anyone. Maybe if it was life threatening and my adrenaline took over, I could defend myself. But to hit someone smaller than me who is not a threat, I can't do it.
Since we do not spank I am not sure why spanking is the first thing that comes into my head when I listen to the lyrics of this song. The lyrics of this song are actually not about spanking. The lyrics of this song aren't even about hitting or abuse. The lyrics of this song are about putting other people down. That of course brings forth the point that emotional abuse on children is just as prevalent. There is no reason to put your child down. There is no reason to call them a brat. There is no reason to shut up. Treat them like you want to be treated and how you want them to treat others.
Maybe it makes me think of spanking though because I witness spanking almost daily, it is a common form of discipline here. That is something that is etched into my head when I see or hear it, it is something that makes my heart ache. I have memories of children being threatened for a way they are feeling that comes out as a "look on your face". I have memories of the embarrassment of a child smacked in the middle of a crowded store. I have the memory of a child being dragged into the bathroom to "get it". A child crying when they are threatened with "the bathroom". A fearful child who is told what to expect "later". I have the memories of children, after the fact, being threatened again because someone is going to "give them something to cry about" when they are already crying because it was given to them.
Not everyone who spanks is demeaning like that. I just cannot see that reacting in love can result in pain. I cannot see how someone cannot hit without any shred of anger. I cannot see how reacting in anger can allow someone to do it properly. I cannot see how someone who has inflicted pain on another cannot feel badly. I certainly cannot see how a child can feel true remorse when it is being forced on them. I cannot see how a child's self esteem survives completely unscathed. If this effects both the giver and receiver so strongly I wonder what it does to their relationship. Who feels better after "picking on the weaker man", the giver or the receiver?
And swords and weapons that you use against me,
You, have knocked me off my feet again,
Got me feeling like I’m nothing.
You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard
Calling me out when I’m wounded.
You, pickin’ on the weaker man.
Well you can take me down,
With just one single blow.
But you don’t know, what you don’t know,
Someday, I’ll be living in a big old city,
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean.
Someday, I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me,
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so mean?
You, with your switching sides,
And your walk by lies and your humiliation
You, have pointed out my flaws again,
As if I don’t already see them.
I walk with my head down,
Trying to block you out cause I’ll never impress you
I just wanna feel okay again.
I bet you got pushed around,
Somebody made you cold,
But the cycle ends right now,
You can’t lead me down that road,
You don’t know, what you don’t know
Someday, I’ll be, living in a big old city,
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean.
Someday, I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me,
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so mean?
And I can see you years from now in a bar,
Talking over a football game,
With that same big loud opinion but,
Nobody’s listening,
Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things,
Drunk and grumbling on about how I can’t sing.
But all you are is mean,
All you are is mean.
And a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life,
And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean
But someday, I’ll be, living in a big old city,
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean. Yeah,
Someday, I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me,
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so ?
Someday, I’ll be, living in a big old city,
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean. Yeah,
Someday, I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me,
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so mean?
I am sure that many children who are spanked properly, not in anger, feel love from their parents. They do not view their parents as "mean" or hold a grudge from it. Many more view it as mean and vow to end the cycle, just like is said in this song. For some it holds a lifelong memory as this woman has written about, How Spanking Changed My Life. Here we are preaching to our children that it is never OK to hit and then we turn around and hit. You can call it spanking or discipline but a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. Or in this case a thorn by any other name will hurt as much.
Maybe you feel the benefits of this style of discipline outweigh the consequences. That is a decision each family has to make. I cannot hit my children because I was raised never to hit, period. It was the one rule that never changed, non negotiable, zero tolerance. I cannot, to this day, ever hit anyone. Maybe if it was life threatening and my adrenaline took over, I could defend myself. But to hit someone smaller than me who is not a threat, I can't do it.
Since we do not spank I am not sure why spanking is the first thing that comes into my head when I listen to the lyrics of this song. The lyrics of this song are actually not about spanking. The lyrics of this song aren't even about hitting or abuse. The lyrics of this song are about putting other people down. That of course brings forth the point that emotional abuse on children is just as prevalent. There is no reason to put your child down. There is no reason to call them a brat. There is no reason to shut up. Treat them like you want to be treated and how you want them to treat others.
Maybe it makes me think of spanking though because I witness spanking almost daily, it is a common form of discipline here. That is something that is etched into my head when I see or hear it, it is something that makes my heart ache. I have memories of children being threatened for a way they are feeling that comes out as a "look on your face". I have memories of the embarrassment of a child smacked in the middle of a crowded store. I have the memory of a child being dragged into the bathroom to "get it". A child crying when they are threatened with "the bathroom". A fearful child who is told what to expect "later". I have the memories of children, after the fact, being threatened again because someone is going to "give them something to cry about" when they are already crying because it was given to them.
Not everyone who spanks is demeaning like that. I just cannot see that reacting in love can result in pain. I cannot see how someone cannot hit without any shred of anger. I cannot see how reacting in anger can allow someone to do it properly. I cannot see how someone who has inflicted pain on another cannot feel badly. I certainly cannot see how a child can feel true remorse when it is being forced on them. I cannot see how a child's self esteem survives completely unscathed. If this effects both the giver and receiver so strongly I wonder what it does to their relationship. Who feels better after "picking on the weaker man", the giver or the receiver?
Well put. Having been spanked as a child, I REFUSE to do so to my kid(s). My mother spanked in anger or told us to wait until our father "came home". Often the first interaction with our dad after a long day without him was the spanking. It's taken me a long time to learn not to expect violence from men & be able to see my dad as a loving man. As I get older & see him interact with his grandkids, I don't know that he would've been that way if somewhere along the line he was designated as the punisher.
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