Saturday, April 30, 2011


There is "parenting" which I guess covers everyday life with kids? There is "mothering" which people seem to view as a warm and endearing term. There really isn't anything for fathers. Fathering just makes me think of "you just wait until your father gets home". But "daddying" almost has a playfull sound to it. A lot of times that's what "daddy" is. Daddies can be more relaxed and playful. In our house I stay at home, so "daddy" is the person they beg to call on the phone or they excitedly run to when they hear the door. 

Of course my hubby has made me swear to never blog about him.  Actually, if I followed his wish, which is to never talk "about" him, then most might single I'm a single mom. Ya'll will have to be sworn to secrecy, otherwise I'll have to tell him there is some other crazy woman with 6 kids, only 1 boy, who had the same thing happen to her.

We joked about it long ago, that it's not really "babysitting" if it's your own kids. My hubby never "babysits". As a stay at home mom, though, my life revolves around the family so it is second nature for me to make sure everyone is taken care of. He on the other hand has to switch gears more than once a day. He starts off the day as "daddy" because he gets the school aged kids up and to school. Then he works 9+ hours during the day. He rushes home to be "daddy" again.  I say "rush" because Monday through Thursday evenings are full here.

Some days he comes home ready to do the running around. Some days he forgets he has running around to do. Some days he gets to be the home body. Mondays are Girl Scouts and he prefers to be the home body on those days. This Monday I decided to leave the baby because she has been so cranky out (even in the car) past bedtime. I took my son with us though so we could hang out while the girls had scouts. That left daddy with the baby and toddler.

Once I returned and all the chaos, of getting the kids quickly into bed late, was over we sat down to chat. In talking I learned what they had done after dinner but before bath. Daddy took the babies on the trampoline. We have a 14' enclosed trampoline so there isn't a fall risk. It's big enough that the toddler isn't really heavy enough to cause too much issue for the baby. The toddler loved all the attention of daddy up there with her. The baby loved the gentle motion of the trampoline. Apparently he even put some balls up there and the baby loved crawling around after them. He said he would roll a ball and baby L would chase it but because it was slightly lower where she was the ball always, eventually, rolled back to her.  They both just thought this all was hilarious.  The baby and toddler spent the evening laughing and having fun.

I guess I get too caught up in every day things, sometimes, to think of fun stuff like that anymore. I never would have thought to put a pre-walker in the trampoline. I remember when the big girls were smaller and I would go to a moms' night out. I would come home to the girls fingers and toenails painted. My sweet husband spoiled them while I was gone. Usually I leave for moms' night out, or out with just 1 or 2 of the kids for a special time, and I hope I'll magically come home to housework having been done by some "elf". I come home and let out a sigh because the house looks the same (or worse) as I left it. There is always evidence or a story of what they did while I was gone though. That is much better than any cleaning that could have happened.

Sometimes mothers can really nitpick over the way daddy does stuff.  Have you ever heard of the "daddy but pat"? I call it this because I've talked to other moms who had the same thing. Daddy had a way of patting a diapered but that somehow quieted, or even putting to sleep, the baby. It was a much faster rhythm than mommy would dare. In our house daddy swaddles better too, he's not afraid to do it too tight.  He's also better at burping because he's not overly gentle about it.  Mommy thinks daddy's too rough but baby thinks daddy is just perfect.

Daddies do things differently than moms. Men and woman aren't the same. Daddy can do a lot of the jobs mommy does.  But daddy will never be mommy, there are times that only mommy will do. Sometimes though, mommy may need to take a few lessons from daddy.

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