Sweet Dreams, Little One

Bedtime is the one thing I am very particular about in this house. I am determined that we have a consistent bedtime and routine. I also want all my children to have the same storytime, snuggles, and tucking in. Making sure 4 kids 6 and under get read to, snuggled and are asleep before 9 pm is a challenge though. Putting so much time into bedtime isn't much for 1 or 2 kids. A 30 minute reading, snuggle, tuck in routine times 4 is a lot though. It's especially a lot if none of them are sleepy enough to be put to bed at 7 pm. That means you have to overlap the kids.

Putting them to bed, on a typical night, is a tag team event. I start with J4, hubby starts with S6. Whoever is done first, or closest to done at 8 pm goes to get B11 into bed. Next in line for bed is A2. I get baby L, usually last or while I do A2.  Putting them to bed without your "partner" is a bit more work. You never know what kind of things you will end up with. I can't be in 2 places at once so people just have to be patient.

I never know what to expect until I start. A group of obviously tired kids may all just lay there wide awake. This particular trip, on day 1 I started with S6 because she was ready to read. After reading though she had too much to say. Then baby L decided to crawl all over the bed fussing. At 8 pm I had to leave her to get B11 in bed. I take baby L downstairs to play while I do B11 and hopefully S6. Baby L screams the whole time I do B11 so I have to go get her instead of doing S6. I grabbed J4 to get him in bed so I didn't have to go back down for him. He will usually climb in bed and lay there himself for a while. This particular night he wanted nothing to do with that and screamed about it. Baby L's fussing was just getting worse though so I had to make him wait while I got her to sleep. He was not happy about that but he finally quieted down enough for her to fall asleep so I moved onto getting him to bed.  By the time I went back to S6 she was already asleep. That's OK though, because, with hubby out of town she'll be climbing in my bed at 2 am.  Now it is 9 pm before I am finally getting A2, luckily she's ready to go right to sleep.

After the first night you'd think I'd be afraid of bedtime. Certainly I can't be looking forward to it. I am TIRED at the end of the day and go to bed between 9 and 10 so I am always ready for bedtime. Kids
and unpredictable, the next night they could be ready for round 2 or be the complete opposite. Day 2 was certainly interesting. Baby L was again cranky so this time I started with her. J4 was tired too though so climbed in bed with us. 15 minutes later they are both sound asleep. I get B11 in bed real quick then move on to S6. A2 wants mommy though. I pick up A2 and take her with me. To my surprise A2 falls asleep too. It's 8:15pm and I am done.

The next morning, to my surprise, not only did A2 sleep all night in the other bedroom but so did S6.
Of course the 3rd night I forget the unpredictability rule. I try to do a repeat of day 2. Baby L, who was very cranky at 6:30 pm, now wants nothing to do with bedtime. It's not as bad as day 1 though.  J4 at least falls asleep while I'm trying to get her to bed. Baby L at least cooperates by playing nicely with E14 while I get S6 in bed.  A2 again falls asleep with S6 too.

I am also ecstatic that soccer is over. E14's soccer practices were from 7-8:30pm. It's awful hard to put kids to bed at 8 pm when you have to leave to pick another up at 8 pm. The kids with 8 pm bedtimes were not even getting home until 9 pm. Most nights baby L and A2 were falling asleep in the car. Some nights they stayed asleep when you moved them. Some nights they woke up renenergized from their cat nap.

So yes, I am just happy soccer is over. And yes, I do always have to look at the bright side.  I wouldn't give up my snuggle time for anything.

We've all had them

You all know what I am talking about, one of "those" days. Now
"those" days could mean a lot of things. It doesn't usually mean one
of "those great" days. But it could mean a terrible day, a blah day,
a stressful day, a gross day, a sad day...something that could fall
into the realm of "bad".

Today didn't start out too badly. Even though I ran around all day
yesterday, including taking 7 kids, (by myself) out to dinner and to
S6s tennis practice, I had a much better than average sleep last
night. Because I got some decent sleep last night, I started the day
at 7:30. After looking for where I stuck J4s Tball uniform I got S6
dressed and to Cheer Camp. I got everyone else ready and to Tball
then back to Cheer Camp to watch the performance.

You could say that we were the 1st performance. After an hour
watching Tball A2 was restless and L was sleeping. I was afraid A2
would be all over so I tied her on my back. I hoped L would sleep or
rest a few more minutes before. The performance so I tied her on my
front. We definitely got a few stares and comments as we were waiting
to go in. "She has 2 babies" even if one is nearly a preschooler.
"You could probably fit 2 on each side too" and I even have 2 more I
could use, though not sure I want to carry a total of 130 lbs around.

We made it through that too. I even took one of the kids to get new
shoes and pick up a gift. I brought the kids a treat home from the
bakery and a pizza dinner. B11 seems to be having some mood swings
again but we'll see. Basically all of that is a fairly typical day,
it seems typical or average. If you consider that we managed to get
shoes at the 1st store. Plus, the pair they ended up having in her
size, that she liked (her criteria being that they don't squish her
anywhere and they match her shoe poms), turned out to be on clearance,
I'd call it a success even.

It's just that days like this, though successful and not "bad" can
still be tiring. You want to sit around and do nothing the rest of
the day. Especially after having an early dinner and being quite
full. Lots of chores are calling though.

Now if I could get some cleaning done. I've got the kids doing a 15
minute tidy so I'll get started on the laundry. It was seeming like
such a productive day. Things were calm, too calm.

The toddler was doing something she shouldn't have been. I had
checked on her and she was quietly playing legos. I could hear and
occasionally see her across the hall. How she managed to do
it...toddlers. Yep, she did THAT on the carpet. So I put her on the
toilet to sit while I looked for where. Not finding where, I went
back to her. Even a 1st time mom knows you don't leave a toddler in
the bathroom. Yep, my bathroom was now flooded with, let's just say,
"not fresh" water.

After I tossed down some towels I attended to her. I am sure you can
guess as to how I knew she had when I couldn't find where. In the tub
she went, to be hosed off (parents of toddlers "need" handheld
showerheads). Then she got to sit in fresh water while I collected
all the towels, wiped, and collected more.

The good news is, I found it.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Brandi-mom to a boy and his 5 sisters
I'm "that" mom: GIVEAWAY-so many patterns, so hard to
chose<http://thatmomof6.blogspot.com/2011/05/giveaway-so-many-patterns-so-hard-to.html>

The Mommy Wars

There seem to be "wars" over everything these days.  People don't have lively debates anymore, people fight.  People don't agree to disagree anymore, people take things personally.  If you do something different than I do, you must be saying my way is wrong.  It used to be car wars, Chevy or Ford.  Then there were technology wars, Mac lovers do not cross over.  There is android vs iphone, there is Nook vs Kindle. 

We have the parents vs the non parents now.  Instead of helping out a parent with a stroller, they push to ban strollers from buses, or only allow narrow ones on sidewalks.  Not only are people having babies later in life but they don't want the babies in the same restaurant as them, it might remind them their biological clock is ticking.  There are also those couples who chose not to have any kids, ever.  Some of them would be perfectly content if kids weren't allowed to leave the house until their 18th birthdays.  They have perfected the "glare".

I know the mommies are out there shaking their heads in agreement, Amen sister.  Oh, so quick you think you are off the hook.  I would love to see a show of hands on the number of mommies out there who own a stroller.  Now how many of you have considered it's use as a battering ram through a crowd?  I bet more than a few mommies (or daddies) out there have used it as such, if you haven't, admit it, you've thought about it.  I am sure that supports the opposing sides argument.  What about the mommies out there who think that just because they were in line first that their stroller should be able to get the handicap spot on the train, bus, tram, etc?  I know none of my readers would do that, but I have seen it happen, more than once.  Or the parents who think they have every right to go out to a nice dinner, just like everyone else.  Who cares if their kid is throwing food at the neighboring table.  Admit it, there are parents out there ruining it for the rest of us.

It isn't bad enough that we have parents vs non parents.  Now we have the mommy vs mommy wars.  It is us against "those" parents that ruin it for the rest of us.  There is stay at home vs working moms.  Breastfeeding vs Bottlefeeding moms.  Cosleeping vs "cry it out".  Babywearers vs travel system pushers. 

Is it really that we are feuding or is it all in how someone takes what is said.  When a breastfeeder is asked "so how much is she drinking" and responds "she's nursing" does the bottlefeeder really have to assume the breastfeeder meant "I can't believe your not doing what's 'best for baby' ".  When a stay at home mom finds out another mom works should she assume that the working mom just doesn't want to raise her kid?  Or vice versa, should the working mom assume the stay at home mom has no marketable skills?  When a mom finds out another attachment parents should she assume that mom is implying she's a failure?  You do know what happens when one "ass u mes", don't you?

Truthfully, most moms are just trying to get through the day.  If you are a mom of 1 or a mom of 10 you still have to make it through the day.  A stay at home mom has to cart her kids on every errand and never gets a sick day.  A working mom has to squeeze time with the kids, time with hubby and time to do household chores, all between getting off of work and bedtime.  All moms struggle every minute with what is right for their family.  If you have time to worry about what other people are doing then you aren't thinking enough about what you are doing. 

And the winner is....

#1...http://www.naturallycaron.com/projects/zen/zen_1.html

I can't wait to get started on it.  I think I will be making 2 since it will also make something nice and light for me that can also be a slight nursing cover.  Now to go shopping for yarn, fun!

Extreme Couponing

Have you seen that show on TLC? As with all reality shows it aims for excitement and drama, more than reality. Yes, you can save a bunch of money by using coupons. But, unless you plan to live on only dry goods and processed foods, you can't feed a family of 8 on $10 a week. Occasionally you see them buy meat and produce with their "overage" from coupons.  Usually though you don't see them buying meats and produce.

Then there's the "stockpile". Who really needs 1000 tubes of toothpaste? First, would you even use that much in a lifetime.  Second, don't you need that space in your house for something you will use? Lastly, there are plenty of homeless shelters that could use the donation. I view that not as stockpiling, I view that as hoarding.

The time involved in this is amazing. On a typical episode I hear quotes of 30 or 40 hours a week spent couponing. Last week the lady flat out said that if anyone tells you they're spending less than 10 hrs a week is lying. These people obviously view this as their job because how much is your time worth?

I am feeding 8 people. If you feed 4 you probably cannot imagine what feeding 8 looks like. Though I am sure my friends with 10 or 12+ would love to only feed 8. I mention this though because of space and stockpile. What is a good start of a stockpile for the family of 4, only feeds us for 2 weeks. I don't have the space to stockpile much.  If I shop for 2-3 weeks of food I fill up my walk in pantry and 2 freezers.

My time is stretched thin. If parenting 1 kid is a full time job, I am working overtime already. We have activities M-Th plus games Saturdays and/or Sundays. My free time starts around 9pm unless I get up at 6 am. In order to squeeze in 10 hrs of couponing that would mean I need to coupon 9-10pm and 6-6:30am every day of the week.

That does not mean I don't want to save a couple dollars. My grocery budget is higher than my mortgage. I decided to give couponing a try.  First we try the binder method. That is time consuming, for someone.  I say, "for someone" because my teen voluntarily clipped and organized a lot of them. I then switched to the file method.  A few weeks ago I even met up with some friends, we got to trade coupons. That is certainly the upside to couponing.  While A2 and J4 played on the playground I got to chit chat and trade. Too bad baby L wouldn't cooperate by eating her snack or at least riding on my back, all she wanted to do was eat dirt, pine straw, and pine cones. It definitely makes "moms couponing night out" sound needed.  Though doesn't paying for dinner negate some of my savings?

There's more to couponing than clipping and organizing. You have to read the ads, match to coupons, make your list and know the regular prices. Southernsavers.com and similiar websites do the matching for you and even let you create a list. Regular prices are so much more confusing. Walmart has the everyday "lowest prices" on so many things. Walmart never has the buy 1 get 1 free, 2 for 1, 10 for $10, etc sales though. In the end Walmart is pricier for so many things.  At the same time though, I learned the everyday, regular price varies so much. For example, I managed to score one of Heinz's $2 off Facebook fan coupons. At Walmart $2 gets you the $1.98 40 oz bottle for free. That same bottle was $2.39 at Target and over $3 at the grocery store. That is a huge variation is prices.

Who has time to go from store to store? After you've spent 10 hours couponing you probably don't have much time left. Then there's the trip prep while the babies press the buttons on the printer your trying to use to print coupons. My prep does not involve dumpster diving. My kids have had their tetanus shots but we are still not climbing in dumpsters. The racecar carts the kids love does buy me 3 aisles of the grocery store. A free cookie might get me another aisle. It's a shame we don't have any of those pay per view movie carts around here, that might get me 5 aisles. There is nothing in the world that is going to get them to agree to 3 stores. I could go on the weekend, but call me selfish, I like to spend time with hubby and the school aged kids.

Yes, I think couponing is a great way to save money. Stockpiling helps to make couponing even better. Hoarding and dumpster diving is just insane though.  Yes, the TV show brings to light the great savings that are to be had out there.  But to me, the only thing the show does, is encourage people to print 10 of each coupon from 5 different computers so that the coupon reaches it's print maximum before the rest of us can print any.  Then they take those to the store to clear the shelves so there is nothing left for the rest of us.  Maybe if we commit all the "crazies" out there letting their kids crawl around in dumpsters then they'll be some items left at the store for the rest of us. If they're in the loony bin they can't clear the shelves of all the pain reliever. I mean those of us just trying to save a couple dollars might need some of that for the headache it brought on. Or maybe that's just me with the headache, because I'm slightly crazier than the rest. I take 3 kids under 5 couponing with me.

Don't forget free is the best way to go, check out my previous blog post for a chance to win something for free.  Maybe a coupon bag, or reusable produce bag?

GIVEAWAY-So many patterns, so hard to chose

There are so many projects out there to crochet that my www.ravelry.com favorites list just keeps growing. Then I look at all the patterns for sale at www.etsy.com and I want them all. Since it is so warm here now, the typical scarves, winter hats, mittens, sweaters, etc just aren't calling to me. To pick something else I've been having to look around. The more I look, the bigger those lists get. Kindle covers, amigurumi, sundresses, and so much more my head starts to spin. When you have such a long list it is so hard to chose what's next.

I decided I would bribe ya'll to help me pick what to work on. This will also be my very 1st giveaway. All you have to do is comment below with a link to a pattern (free or for purchase) or make a suggestion of a project to do. You can find patterns on blogs, www.etsy.com, www.ravelry.com, www.bevscountrycottage.com, www.crochetpatterncentral.com, and so much more. However, in most cases, if you leave a suggestion I can find a pattern for it as well. The project should be "crochet" because if you suggest knit it will take a year to get your prize :-D

I will chose the winner using random.org.  The winner will be chosen around (I say around because we live on "kid time") 9am Eastern on June 6th from the comments listed at that time.  Only 1 entry per person.  If you comment more than once I will only count the 1st comment as an entry.  If you have more than 1 suggestion you can put them all in 1 comment but I will only chose 1 to make.  If there is no way to contact you with your comment, it will be up to you to watch the blog to see if you win, then contact me.  If you do not contact me within a week (or respond to my contact to you) I may redraw the winner.  Turnaround time will vary depending on the size of the project, size of the yarn and size of the hook used.  It could be a couple days to a couple months.

All you're ever gonna be is mean

I swore I wouldn't blog about spanking, I just don't like opening that can of worms.  I'm "that" mom enough that I don't need to start dabbling in spanking, abortion, politics, or circumcision.  This song is popular on the radio though so I hear it daily.  When I hear this song I think of spanking children.  So I will put on my fire retardant suit, prepare for the flames, and post a spark.  It takes too long to get my suit on though so don't expect me to do this regularly.

Here's the song I mean.

Taylor Swift Mean lyrics from Taylor's highly anticipated 2010 album "Speak Now".

"Mean" by Taylor Swift

You, with your words like knives
And swords and weapons that you use against me,
You, have knocked me off my feet again,
Got me feeling like I’m nothing.
You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard
Calling me out when I’m wounded.
You, pickin’ on the weaker man.

Well you can take me down,
With just one single blow.
But you don’t know, what you don’t know,

Someday, I’ll be living in a big old city,
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean.
Someday, I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me,
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so mean?

You, with your switching sides,
And your walk by lies and your humiliation
You, have pointed out my flaws again,
As if I don’t already see them.
I walk with my head down,
Trying to block you out cause I’ll never impress you
I just wanna feel okay again.

I bet you got pushed around,
Somebody made you cold,
But the cycle ends right now,
You can’t lead me down that road,
You don’t know, what you don’t know

Someday, I’ll be, living in a big old city,
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean.
Someday, I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me,
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so mean?

And I can see you years from now in a bar,
Talking over a football game,
With that same big loud opinion but,
Nobody’s listening,
Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things,
Drunk and grumbling on about how I can’t sing.

But all you are is mean,
All you are is mean.
And a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life,
And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean

But someday, I’ll be, living in a big old city,
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean. Yeah,
Someday, I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me,
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so ?
Someday, I’ll be, living in a big old city,
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean. Yeah,
Someday, I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me,
And all you’re ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so mean?

I am sure that many children who are spanked properly, not in anger, feel love from their parents.  They do not view their parents as "mean" or hold a grudge from it.  Many more view it as mean and vow to end the cycle, just like is said in this song.  For some it holds a lifelong memory as this woman has written about, How Spanking Changed My Life.  Here we are preaching to our children that it is never OK to hit and then we turn around and hit.  You can call it spanking or discipline but a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.  Or in this case a thorn by any other name will hurt as much. 

Maybe you feel the benefits of this style of discipline outweigh the consequences.  That is a decision each family has to make.  I cannot hit my children because I was raised never to hit, period.  It was the one rule that never changed, non negotiable, zero tolerance.  I cannot, to this day, ever hit anyone.  Maybe if it was life threatening and my adrenaline took over, I could defend myself.  But to hit someone smaller than me who is not a threat, I can't do it.

Since we do not spank I am not sure why spanking is the first thing that comes into my head when I listen to the lyrics of this song.  The lyrics of this song are actually not about spanking.  The lyrics of this song aren't even about hitting or abuse.  The lyrics of this song are about putting other people down.  That of course brings forth the point that emotional abuse on children is just as prevalent.  There is no reason to put your child down.  There is no reason to call them a brat.  There is no reason to shut up.  Treat them like you want to be treated and how you want them to treat others.

Maybe it makes me think of spanking though because I witness spanking almost daily, it is a common form of discipline here.  That is something that is etched into my head when I see or hear it, it is something that makes my heart ache.  I have memories of children being threatened for a way they are feeling that comes out as a "look on your face".  I have memories of the embarrassment of a child smacked in the middle of a crowded store.  I have the memory of a child being dragged into the bathroom to "get it".  A child crying when they are threatened with "the bathroom".  A fearful child who is told what to expect "later".  I have the memories of children, after the fact, being threatened again because someone is going to "give them something to cry about" when they are already crying because it was given to them.

Not everyone who spanks is demeaning like that.  I just cannot see that reacting in love can result in pain.  I cannot see how someone cannot hit without any shred of anger.  I cannot see how reacting in anger can allow someone to do it properly.  I cannot see how someone who has inflicted pain on another cannot feel badly.  I certainly cannot see how a child can feel true remorse when it is being forced on them.  I cannot see how a child's self esteem survives completely unscathed.  If this effects both the giver and receiver so strongly I wonder what it does to their relationship.  Who feels better after "picking on the weaker man", the giver or the receiver?