Tuesday, February 15, 2011

I don't care

Again I just read a bunch of parents jumping on another's case over
something meaningless. This time it was a 3.5 year old riding in a
carrier instead of walking. Apparently that encourages laziness. I
am all for babywearing and have worn a 3.5 year old. But I am pretty
sure that unless it's a petite 3.5 year old or one with a physical
disability this parent is probably not wearing her 24/7. Or at least
he isn't without a good chiropractor. Oh wait, can I say that or will
the babywearers be up in arms about me implying babywearing might give
you a backache? Despite the risk of being kicked out of the Ergo
(what this particular parent was wearing) Club I'll leave the comment.
I'll leave it because its true. I admit carrying a 35 lber can be
done without any ache for even a couple hours in an Ergo but, though
I've never tried it, I'm pretty sure all day every day would be
pushing it.

Heck, while I am confessing, my kids had Sonic for dinner. I am sure
there are some naturalists that have quite a bit to say about how
obese that's going to make my kids.

I can upset the bottle feeders too by saying I have breastfed my last
3 children for over a year each. Though maybe that upsets
breastfeeders too because I didn't breastfeed them over 2 years.
I can open more cans of worms too, spanking, circumcision, marraige,
or a personal household favorite politics.

I just wonder why so many people care so much about what choices other
people make. Especially when those choices effect them in no way whatsoever. 
Not only do they care but they voice their concerns. A
picture can't just be a picture anymore, a joke just a joke. It's
prevalant everywhere in the US culture but I think parenting is a
bigger target than most.

People not only care about what they see but they are curious about
what they don't see, they want to know more. Got 6 kids and you hear
"are they all yours?". Nope I just collect the neighborhood before I
head to Walmart because its that much fun to shop with animals. Oh
but you only have 1, then you get "so when are you going to have
another?". Uh, I'm pretty sure that the library isn't an appropriate
place to talk about my sex life, or at least it wasn't 25 years ago.
3 girls results in "gonna try for a boy?" I am pretty sure a boy is
not a necessity of 2011 american suburbia. Homeschool and your kids
must be unsocialized hermits but if they go to public school they're

Not only do people care so much that they ask and comment but the
recipients of the questions and comments care that they care. So
since they care so much that people are talking to and about them they
spend time thinking about comebacks.

I have no clue why people obsess so much about others. But I am here
to say I, personally, don't care. I don't care if you homeschool or
public school or private school or even unschool. I don't care if you
dress your son in pink tutus. I'll listen to you tell me and won't
assume you need advice on how to get him to stop. I don't care if
your daughter's a piano prodigy. If you tell me she is I'll
congratulate you without thinking that a mom bragging is a bad thing.
If you share a picture of your kid I don't care if yesterday's dishes
are on the counter behind him, he's wearing clothes from walmart, he
uses a disposable diaper, or if he's watching tv in it. If your 4
month old eats solid food and sleeps in a crib, that doesn't mean mine
has to. And if mine doesn't I'm not implying I'm a better mom. If
you ask if all 6 are mine I'll answer yes. Not only will yes be all I
mean when I say yes but I won't even analyze why you asked.

I am pretty sure that there is a very grey area. I'm not sure where
in it caring, obsessing, and judging lie though.  Maybe if I promise not to
judge you you can promise to at least keep your judgements to yourself.

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