We do not own a large house, just over 2000 sq ft. It even has all the makings of being organized. We have a coat closet, we have a shoe tree, we have a shoe basket. In our bedroom we have a walk in closet, each bedroom has an over the door shoe rack. It's really starting to sound like we have hundreds of shoes but really I'd guess there are only about 40 pair in the whole house. In my opinion that is even a lot. But 5 kids are walking. Walking kids have a pair of boots, sneakers, sandals, church shoes, water shoes, and some have cleats or dance shoes. Hubby works in an office and oddly enough he has way more shoes than the woman of the house. I'm not even sure what all he has; brown dress shoes, black dress shoes, even dressier dress shoes, boots, nice sneakers, yard work sneakers, sandals, who knows what else. Yet noone can ever find shoes. I'm not talking about the shoes they are wanting to wear. I mean they can't find a single full pair of any shoes. I have already, more times than I care to count, instructed them that they cannot wear 1 sandal and 1 rainboot out in public. There is some house goblin that steals shoes.
In true mom fashion I am thought of last. I was getting hand me downs from the teen but now her feet are even too big for that. I wore out the "$15 special" clogs I had so she handed down some Sperry which I wore out too. So that left me with her hand me down Nikes, 2 pair of cheap dress shoes (for church), a pair of Keds, and some flip flops (bought late summer to replace the ones I broke). Oh wait, there is that one pair of shoes, a nice pair of slides, well except the couple inches high they are all around (platform? i dont know my shoe terminology). E14 has a pair and in a moment of "what were you thinking" I bought me a pair too because they looked cute on her (huh?). But the thought of wearing those while wearing a baby is scary. Since it got cold I stopped wearing the flip flops. Now I have my hands full walking out the door so I can't be bothered to fiddle with shoes so I wear slip ons. I wear flip flops until my toes are iced, literally. When it snowed I decided it was time to put my flip flops away. My Keds were the easiest to slip on so I moved on to them. But when I wore the tops right off I was out of luck. I looked and looked but could only find 1 of the Nikes, a 1 footed room goblin has the other. So what's left?
Dress shoes, black or white. We live in the south, they still believe you can't wear white shoes after Labor Day until ??? So I went with black. Though I could just buy new shoes. Hmmm, trying on shoes while wearing a baby, while A2 screams because I moved her farther from the shelf so she couldn't rip the shoeboxes down, and keeping J4 from moving A2 close enough to grab the boxes or him trying on 300 pair of shoes he likes (what is it with the men in our house and shoes?). So I mention to hubby I need shoes. "What have you been wearing?" Dress shoes. "Ok." Ok as in, I don't see anything wrong with that. That's because you don't have to go out with me, you don't even like me to wear sweatpants in public. No response (and no shoes).
In the meantime soccer season starts. So Joey has to go to soccer practice. I put his cleats on and he's NOT happy. I check and they fit. I "fix" them and he's still not happy. We're late so I load him up anyway. Soon a cleat flies at me (while I am driving). There went another. I think that was a shin guard next. So I threaten him to get his shin guards and socks back on before we get there. We get there and he has them on so I put the cleats back on. Ready to go? Think again. He's standing outside the car stomping and screaming. It has been a long day, we're very late, I am done playing charades. Yes, all those people who swear I never lose my patience, I packed him up and took him back home. And yes I feel bad because it isn't his fault I don't understand what he is telling me the problem is. So daddy takes him to his game instead. This time in shin guards and his Keens.
So to make it up to him we go buy new cleats. Oddly enough the same situation plays out. Size 12 Nikes and he's kicking them off. Size 11 Nikes and he's growling at me. Size 12 Adidas and he's stomping.
Whatever, I'm done, the Adidas seemed to fit the best, I buy them (and new socks, shin guards and a ball). He tells me he is not wearing cleats, he will not only not play soccer, but no football or baseball, only basketball.
Back to my shoe issue. I learned that dress shoes are not meant to go hiking. We received a nice warm front here. So while B11 was at riding I took the kids hiking. I forgot about the lovely shoes I was wearing. Now my church shoes are filthy and my feet are sore. So Saturday comes and I've been wearing my black dress shoes all week. I tell hubby I have to go buy shoes. Ok, he'll watch the kids. So I walk in ready to go. "You don't have any other shoes to wear?". No, that's why I need to buy some. "You can't borrow a pair from E14?". Apparently my shoes look so bad I shouldn't wear them in public. I've been wearing these all week. "Oh". I'm happy to report though that I have 2 new pair of shoes so can now be seen in public.
J6 on the other hand now has too small size 11 cleats, his new size 12s, and his sister's old size 13s. After much trying pairs he wears his new ones, not happily, to his game. Again daddy takes him. Daddy calls to say he solved the problem. He wanted them tied tighter because his heel moves. So if you tie his cleats so tight you cut off his circulation he's perfectly happy.
Now to just find the other dozen pair of missing shoes somewhere in this house.